Christmas Time

I love this time of year, the chill in the air, the smell of pine trees & pumpkin pie, the overall feeling that people really do care about eachother. I noticed it comes out more this time of year. To know that God gave his only begotten son to be brought up by Mary & Joseph, to teach & preach the gospel to all those who would listen & finally to have him die upon the cross at Calvary. I feel so blessed to know about the gospel & to know about the plan of salvation & the fact that we are here for a purpose & not just to live our lives, to brighten up other lives as well. What a sacrifice that was for God. I can't even imagine knowing as I was raising my son, that he would eventually suffer an extremely humiliating & painful death. My heart would break every day that I would look into his eyes. I am so greatful to have the family proclamation framed & in my living room where I can look upon it daily & just feel reassured with life.

Now, onto Cayden & his Christmas. Given the economy, Corey & I didn't go all out like last year, but it didn't phase him. He still made out like a bandit. I got him a few books from the Beehive bookstore & some clothes. Santa brought him this really big monster truck with legos, a bosch drill, a leave blower & some PJ's. (the P.J's were a tradition in my family, we always got the feety pj's from santa). And of course our families spoiled Cayden. Next year, I think I would like to start of with a tradition that we will get him only 3 gifts & he can get some from Santa too. I just want him to remember what Christmas is all about, not just the presents, but the fact that we are celebrating Christs birthday. Christ received 3 gifts from the wisemen & Cayden (and our other children when time comes) will too. I want him to have an appreciation for the non-material things in life.

It's official, I have my recommend & should be going to the Temple for the fist time in January. I need to make my appointment. I am just so excited. I want to be that example that Cayden needs & I want to fulfill what I am to do here in this lifetime.

Is this really happening? Pinch me please!

To complete my last post - we had a blast. That place is so relaxing & calming. I loved the classes. This is definitely somewhere I would go back & take Corey.

I have finished my Temple prep classes & Corey had his interview with the bishop tonight. Because he is not a member, the bishop needed to explain the temple to him & how it works. He needs to be ok with me going & support me in order for me to get my recommend.

Corey is fine with it (thank goodness) & he respects me enough to know that this would make me happy, so it makes him happy. I am so close to getting my recommend it is driving me crazy (in a good way)!

To think 5 years ago, this would not be happening. I was engaged & going to church, but not doing everything I knew I should be or shouldn't be doing. I am so happy I am not addicted to anything anymore & I do not have anything holding me back. I have my son who looks up to me & I want to be the best example I could possibly be. He is my world!

The first time I go to the temple I will have a few special people with me. I would love to have Corey there sharing those special moments with me, but I know in time I will be there for him when he goes. I want to do so many things. I want to enter the names of all Corey's ancestors that have passed so they get an opportunity to be baptized & sealed to their family. I just want to help so many people that have passed on & I also want to help me become closer with my Heavenly Father.

On another note, one of my sisters is prego & I can't wait to be prego with her. Hopefully I follow her footsteps & our kids can be born the same year. I am so happy for her!

Cayden saw Santa at our church Christmas party - he was too cute. He had a pin that said "Future Missionary" I bought him from the church bookstore! He would make a mighty fine missionary!

My Retreat

I'm so excited. Corey's mom Mary & I are going on a girls weekend getaway to Sycamore Springs Mineral Resort (http://www.sycamoresprings.com/). I can definitely use a little time away to focus on myself. I already have some of our time planned out. Here is our itinerary:

Friday

12:30pm leave

3-330Arrive at the resort

430-530p yoga class

dinner at the warf after yoga

relax in our private mineral springs hot tub on our enclosed deck

Saturday

830-930 Pilates class

945-1045 Tai Chi class

relax in the hot tub for a while

go to lunch somewhere & explore Avila Beach

go hiking and walk around the resort

hang out in our room & read & relax in the hot tub

430-530 yoga class

6pm dinner reservations at The Gardens of Avila - organic foods - yummy

715pm soak in the spa's private mineral hot tub before our massage

8-9 swedish massage

relax & read until I fall asleep

Sunday

830-930 yoga class

11am depart back to the real world

I can't wait. I am going to miss my little guy so much though. I have never gone on a vacation with out Corey, so this will be kinda nice. He always goes camping or on fishing trips from 1-5 nights multiple times per year. It will be nice to see how he handles Cayden one on one for 2 nights & 1 full day.

I think he will grow a new appreciation for me and what I do as a wife & mother. I will also appreciate him more as a hands on father. He is already very good with Cayden.

I need to make sure I bring my scriptures since I will have plenty of time to read them with out being interrupted or with only 5 minutes until Corey wants the light off. I also have plenty of Ensigns & OK magazines to read.

Memories

I remember a young girl with curly black hair who was very shy

I remember a tight striped long sleeved shirt

I remember nirvana boy

I remember planning to run away

I remember watching tons of Brad Pitt videos

I remember 2 friends going into the dirty creek because I said I lost a ring

I remember church dances

I remember April 5, 1994 was a very sad day for us

I remember "So you think you own whatever land you land on" & I totally chickened out

I remember being totally immersed in water in the most beautiful place I have ever seen

I remember we did that together & we felt so awesome afterwards

I remember Tyler Moore asking me out while I was at your house, over the phone

I remember Kriss Kross games in your backyard

I remember the evil eye - Sorry, I had to mention that one =)

I remember doing not so good things, but you were with me so I felt safe

I remember spending the night on your sleep out sofa bed

I remember Christopher making grinding noises in the middle of the night

I remember meeting with President Shurtliff... we were together & we always had eachothers backs.

I remember not taking the sacrament & feeling absolutely horrible

I remember that I wasn't the best influence on you

I remember the worst day of my life was in April of 1997

I remember March 27, 1998

I remember being scared to fly but missing someone

I remember bringing a certain Brad Pitt magazine that I got in trouble for bringing

I remember Jesse & Josh walking us home after a dance

I remember taking the bus to the mall & eating Auntie Annes pretzels

I remember kissing some yuckie guy in some closet on a truth or dare

I remember sitting outside on chairs looking at the Provo Temple at night & thinking, wow, that is where I'm going to get married

I remember a guy named Steve

I remember skipping classes

I remember Sex and the City late at night

I remember sharing a bedroom

I remember Cooper

I remember being jealous

I remember the speech from my wedding

I remember the love

I remember my best friend, I miss my best friend, I will always love my best friend no matter what comes of this life, I will be there for you always.

I love the Rain

Despite the rain coming down today, it was a good day at work. My co-worker & PIC (partner in crime) wasn't there because her Grandma passed away over the weekend. I feel so sad for her because her Grandfather had just passed away in the last 6 months. Maybe they couldn't live without each other.
Cayden was so funny to watch this morning. Every time I try puting on his pants he kicks & doesn't want them on. I have to distract him just to finish the job. He loves puting on his shoes though. It's so exciting hearing him say words for the first time.
I had to set up for our all staff meeting today which was hard because I kept getting handouts that I needed to copy to have at the meeting. The DVD didn't play in the right spot, which was kinda embarrasing, but life goes on. As I started walking to the gym it started to sprinkle. I was loving it, the smell, look & feel of rain! By the time I was done it was raining pretty good. I picked Cayden up & he was getting wet & was making noise, not sure what he was trying to say though. I wanted to take him outside in his rain jacket & rain boots, but he has a cold & I couldn't take him out =(
I just love listening to the rain & seeing it fall to the ground & bounce back up. I hope Cayden appreciates the rain as he gets older.

Missionary experience

I had the wonderful opportunity to share what I believe in with a co-worker. I really enjoy my co-worker, she is very artsy & open minded about so much stuff.

In California we have a big divide with one of our propositions on the ballet - prop 8. It is basically about yes on keeping marriage between man & women or no so gay marriage is legal. This has really torn me from my moral & ethical obligations.

I realize we are here on earth because we chose sides prior to this in our premortal life. I am here to try to be like Christ (I am so far from it, but I strive every day to make the right choices) & to once again be with him.

This starts my missionay experience. On Friday, my co-worker, who happens to be a lesbian, asked me about prop 8. I tried to stay out of it because I didn't feel comfortable at first. She wanted to know what I thought about prop 8 because she knew I was LDS. She told me that she wouldn't take any offense to what I would say because she knew I was a good person & everyone has their own beliefs. I started out with the Plan of Salvation & what I believe happens in the premortal life, this life & after we die. I explained to her that I believe we must be married in the Temple to enjoy the blessings of exhaltation & to live with our Father in Heaven again. I told her I have a great love for all of Heavenly Fathers children & that included her. I don't judge her for her decisions & she doesn't judge me for mine.

She then started to explain what she believed in, which was very interesting. She believes that when we die we become the air, the trees, the animals & we are reincarnated. She also believes that we reap what we so, in Karma... I also have some beliefs in that. She believes in live life to the fullest.

I had to get back to my office & we ended our conversation with a hug. I thought to myself, wow, I have been praying for a missionary experience for so long & I just had one! Yay!! I often feel very shy when it comes to sharing the gospel to those around me. Maybe it's because my husband is a non member & he knows somewhat about the church but isn't ready to get baptized. I don't want to pressure him so I don't bring it up a lot. I do try to be an example to him & my son though.

Hopefully in a years time & can give the missionaries her address & she can be baptized... wishfull thinking on my part. You never know where your life leads you, you just have to follow it & not to get tripped up on the many distractions along the way.

On another note. I am enjoying my Temple prep classes. I can not wait to walk in to the Temple & be enveloped in the spririt. I pray that I can continue on my journey so my family can be sealed together for time & all eternity!

GO OUT AND VOTE TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 4TH 2008!

Saturday 09-27-08

I want to start writing this blog just so I can keep things down, like a journal. I have never been very good about keeping a journal. I also wanted to start writing so my best friend & I can stay in touch more, even if we don't have time to chat on the phone for hours. So here it goes...

When I was in high school, I played on the church volleyball & basketball teams. I really wasn't very good, but it was fun. Our coach was newly married & she was so much fun. I saw her after I graduated a few times, but I haven't seen her in years. I always wondered what she was up to.

So, I am in a new ward, well I have been there almost a year now & am making new friends. One of them is Heather & she had a "Modesty clothing" get together at her house. Her childhood friend designs Modesty clothing http://www.mollysclothing.com/. This childhood friend just happens to be my coach from high school Jaime Stephens. I love her. It was nice catching up with her & chatting away with the other sisters. I learned a lot about going to the temple... I'm kinda curious as to why my mom hasn't mentioned some of the things I learned.

There are so many kind hearted people I have met in my new ward. I was worried when I first started going there last December, ya know, being married to a "non-member" and I had a child. I was always wondering what others were thinking about me. I know... that isn't something I should worry about, but I did. I thought people would think I was a single mom or divorced or even never married. I never felt like people were thinking that stuff of me. I was called into Relief Society as a music leader. Most people who know me, know I can't carry a tune, let alone hear beats in music. So here I am standing in front of strangers (to me at the time) & waving my arm around looking like an idiot. Oh well... I still haven't mastered it, but I am a little more comfortable up there.